The Most Important Thing Ever
“THE last lap, my little racer” his voice 100% melodious, even when that voice from small amplifiers in my Repsol Honda helmet’s. "Little racer?” I surprised. “Yes, my sweet racer. Add your speed in the last turn. Dani Pedrosa has already very closer with you now.
“Wait me at the finish line, don’t forget your promise!” “Do you want I dead now?” “Whatever. The important thing, first give me lasagna as your promise, and then you can dead as you like.” His melodious laugh break out.
I’m trying focusing my look to what in front of me, the Valencia circuit’s road street. That last turn is keen, right in front of me. My little scream yell break out. That last turn is smiling
cowardly, threatening, as if have abstracted my life later.
My think to wander every where, forget Edmund who has already waiting for me at finish line, forget his lasagna for me if I win later, forget my Repsol Honda’s crew, they are supervising me in Repsol Honda’s garage, forget everything. That turn is grining. I turn my right gas jack, speedometer is going to 235.
Motorcycle is going fast, I open my left foot to stand in turn. Fluent. Ugh..” Fluent. Thanks God, you don’t abstract my life now. I think about Edmund again, I see him wave to me at finish line. I am laughing. He is wearing orange cap today, orange shirt with all of Repsol Honda sponsor’s label.
He also wearing orange and white trousers, orange shoes, and small microphone in front of his mouth with amplifier at his ears. So foolish Edmund, in his uniform. I don’t aware my motorcycle cross diagonally black white checked line, finish line.
I win…I win. I repeat that 2 words in my heart. I don’t want for a long time without a pause on motorcycle, I bring my motorcycle to the side a several of meters from finish line, I
put off my helmet. I’m painting. Heated. “ Hey, me sweet racer, congratulation!” Edmund hug my waist, kissing my left cheek.
“Hey! Hey! Ok! All right! Wait! Hot!” I speak sharply and wavering. My crew are here now, want to give congratulation. “Oh my God! You heated!” his accuse, stop kissing my left cheek. Edmund take a bottle of water in his left hag and give it to me. I drink it hastily, some of water drop split to my race clothes.
“Hey, hey, slowly honey… don’t be in hurry.” His whisper, wiping off water in my chin with his 2 fingers, soft. “Hey congratulation!” his phrase again. Then he put off hook of cap at his belt and put it in my head. I’m platforming my wet hair. My crew are screaming.
“Roxanne, my dear sister! You lose me!” Coco Pedrosa is screaming, his hair also wet because sweat, his race clothes open, his black T-shirt spy. He hug me tightly. “Coco Pedrosa! Coco is so silly! I win!” I’m screaming on his ear enthusiasm.
"Let’s go around the lap?!” he is asking me, to be disdainful about my mockery. I catch my motorcycle, I feel Edmund fix my cap, it’s sloping. I look back and he is smiling. I turn my right gas jack, speedometer is going to 100. I’m starting go around the lap and the wind blow my hair, it’s hanging down loose until under my chest.
“Roxanne! Congratulation honey!” suddenly my dad is beside me, riding his favorite yellow motorcycle, kiss my cheek. “Dad! Don’t make me surprised like that!” I’m screaming. “Sorry…sorry… At least I want to give you congratulation!” his exclaim, still full of enthusiasm.
“Thanks dad!” I’m answering, forget my angry. “OK. Dad wait on the garage, with your mom and your sister.” I nod countenance. “Roxanne, my faked daughter! Congratulation! You were very great!” I look back, to that false voice, so Italian.
“Faked father! Papa Rossi! Thanks!” His blue white motorcycle go forward, Fiat Yamaha, replace my original dad, he has already riding his motorcycle back to garage. “OK.OK. we meet at podium.” I nod countenance again.
“We almost arrive in garage. I’m hungry” suddenly Coco Pedrosa speak. “Me too” I’m adding. I forget how long I have already going around the lap. I look back once more audience and back to road street in front of me.
Suddenly a red cap cross diagonally right in front of me and I (of course), braking. Motorcycle is lifting behind, I drudge in circuit’s road street, my knee first, stand all of my body. Drudge hard. I feel my right jaw-bone broken. That favorite motorcycle pressing me.
“Roxanne!!” I hear Coco Stoner is screaming at the edge of circuit, grasp the red cap, who brought me that bad luck. I don’t know I’m dreaming or not now. I see I’m riding my Repsol Honda’s motorcycle. Then I see I’m standing at podium and kissing my victory trophy.
Then I see me, my original family and my faked family, and Edmund have a lasagna party.
Then I see I hug Edmund. Then all of them lose. OK. That’s me, Roxanne Xaveria Paxton. I study in Headington School, school that just for girls.
I’m MotoGP racer, I started race when I was 12 years old, and in MotoGP since I was 14 years 4 month and now I’m almost 16 years old. Young enough to be a racer, very young. Since I started my life in a life with risks like MotoGP, I really really happy, also really really treattened end my life here.
I also have faked family, maybe too crude saying like that, adopted family, all of them
also racer, like I said, all of them are professional racer. I proud of them. And now, I’m happy enough. Very happy. I’m not a great racer, I just sit on fifth in World Champion, under my faked family.
But, at all I’m happy. I’m happy I can finish my season this year with victory. I don’t know from who this racer blood flow in my body, maybe from my original dad, because he was a great racer too.
And I’m very very lucky, I have a boyfriend that I can’t never imagine all of my life, I love him, more than anything in this world. Edmund. Edmund Alexander David. I’m very lucky, but not today.
I open my heavy eyelid slowly. “Roxanne?” You’ve already aware? Oh honey!” I move my mouth muscle, effort answering Edmund. I effort so hard. I open my mouth and start talking. But there is no voice coming out. “Roxanne. Roxanne. Calm down my sweet racer” his whisper, to calm down me.
“Promise, you won’t cry. You don’t do anything wrong. You have a very hard accident. Therefore you be like this.” He indistinctly sad. I open my mouth again, effort say “what?”. Again there is no voice coming out.
“Roxanne, your feet has very hard drudge, your knee stood all of your body…Your motorcycle also pressed you.” Edmund don’t continue his explanation.
“You… you paralysed and can’t talk. Your right jaw-bone broken so hard and you dumb” his whisper, his tone full of sadness, repentance.
“You’re alright” he is adding, bowing, looking my hand. I can’t believe. My head is looking up at my feet with gips, the right one hanging with iron wire at hospital curtain’s pole. I’m trying to coming out my voice. But there is no voice coming out.
What Edmund said 100% exactly. I’m paralysed and dumb. My tears drip. No! I mustn’t cry! I mustn’t sad. If I sad, Edmund will be sad too. I caress his hair softly. He look up. “Roxanne, you are all right, aren’t you? You still can walk and talk.”
I nod countenance. I lift my hand, I move about my hand, like want writing. Edmund take a book and a pen on a table next to my bed, erect my body in order I can write. I scratch my feeling. I’m fine. Where are they?
Everybody are in out, honey. Stoner feel so sorry because your accident. Tell him I’m fine. Can I recover? Of course you can. I brave buy you 100 lasagna for your recovery. My mouth
open, laugh, but still there is no laugh coming out. Edmund, I’m not sure You certain can recover. You certain can recover, believe me Not because of that.
So, what’s wrong my love? I’m not sure. I’m not sure you can still love me or not. Love me like now. I’m really scare. I don’t want to lose you. I just want you to be happy, Edmund, and that isn’t with sick person like me. Edmund read and then put the book and the pen on the table. He kiss my forehead, and caress my cheek softly. He’s smiling.
"Roxanne Xaveria Paxton, right here, right now, I say I love you. I love you so much. My love to you won’t change 0,000….1%, even when you change 1%. If change be someone that I never hope, I will always love you. Forever, until the throb of my heart stop. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever” his promise straightforward.
He put the book and the pen on my hand. Edmund, I’m paralysed! Paralysed! I can’t walk. All of my dream smashed. I’m not a MotoGP anymore, I’m not a racer anymore! I can’t talk! I’m not Roxanne! You still love me?! So silly! I don’t care you paralysed or can’t ride a motor cycle anymore, I don’t care, my love…. I will always love you. I will build your dreams again.
From begin. Don’t give up to life, my love… Thanks to God you still here. I will make you recover and make you become a racer again….Edmund! I can’t walk! I can’t talk! My tears drip. I can’t walk! I can’t talk! I repeat in my heart. I start revold in bed.
“Stop, oke? Don’t cry, my sweet racer, don’t cry” Edmund put away the book from my hand, wipe out my tears. Edmund effort smiling, but his point of view wet. I take his hand and kiss his fingers tip. I cry loudly. I grasp his hand, don’t want to let go. Better I die and Edmund happy! my heart is screaming.
“Roxanne, you will recover. I know this is too heavy. But, I will always love you. I will always beside you, we will past this together” his voice vibrate, he must be cry right now. I erect my body, and take the book and the pen hardly. Edmund! I paralysed and dumb!
My right hand vibrate. I can’t do anything for you now! I’m not useful! This is... too heavy. Very heavy for me. Yes,honey. I’m understand. You useful. I know that. I will die if you are not here. That’s a prove you useful. I… I want to be a racer! This is… this is too fast. I won just now, but… but…
Suddenly I like this. Paralysed. Dumb. You won’t be able suffer everything if with me. I love you so much. Done, oke. Sleep, sleep now, my love….Wait. I want to meet all of them. I give that book to him. Edmund read for a second, then he nod countenance. Edmund
open the door, bent, then in again.
“Honey. Roxanne. Forgive coco”. Edmund give that book to me again. Coco Stoner didn’t do anything wrong. I just wasn’t be careful. Hi, all! Thanks for visiting me here. “Roxanne, you….you….” coco Stoner stop his indistinctly. I be in hurry write again. I’m already known. I paralysed and dumb. I’m all right. I’m not sad. Dad, I’m so sorry.
“It’s fine, honey, Dad apologize too” my original Dad caress my hair softly. “Roxanne! You really really great, honey! Mom proud, you aren’t scare, you very responsible, able your risks as a racer. Mom know, this is also too heavy” my Mom’s voice so soft in my ears.
I am smiling. Are you sure you still want to love me? As your daughter, your sister, or your faked family? Now, I can’t do anything again, you should be shine, I’m not useful. I’m not a racer anymore. “Roxanne, my dear little sister, don’t think like that, ever. We will keep love you, until anytime, however you” coco Pedrosa go beside me, kiss my nose.
“Roxanne, papa will always love you” papa Rossi talk suddenly. “I have already asked to doctor, you will recover in 6 months, if you follow the theraphy active, little racer” coco Stoner look into my eyes, smiling, but I still can feel sadness from his looking. Help me hope.
“Why not? Oke, now sleep” his voice is very soft, for my ears. Coco Pedrosa look me softly, same with his voice just a minute ago, kiss my right cheek. I nod countenance. Group of people that I love separate, sit on chairs around the room.
Edmund sit beside my bed, caress my hand. I paralysed and dumb. But I’m not sad. For my love to them, I will recover. I let myself jump down into my dreams. Suddenly my tears drip. I paralysed and dumb. Roxanne, enough.
And 6 months later…“Dr. Harry Darrow” Edmund’s indistinctly, his hand grasp my hand. “Oh. All right. Please wait for a moment” that recepsionist smiling friendly to Edmund and then to me. I nod countenance. Oke. Exactly 6 months ago, I lied down in hospital, paralysed and dumb.
But did you know, naturally I was sad and revold first, but I’m happy. Behind this my not ability, Edmund and all the people that I love still love me like never happen anything to me before. A month ago, I can walk, free from peevish wheel chair. And I’ve followedmy right
jaw-bone operation, but I still can’t talk.
I straight try my motor cycle, and thanks God, I save. But, Edmund still didn’t allowed me
continue season this year. That 5 gloomy months still light, shine by my private sun, Edmund. I still come to the race, see my faked family started their season.
Very happy, coco Stoner very consistent this year. I’m also play in a fim, when I play as someone that paralysed and dumb. I’m very happy and lucky. And now, I’m in hospital waiting for Dr. Darrow, he will keep training me to talk. “My sweet racer, how do you feel, enthusiasm?”
Edmund asking suddenly, hug me, invite me into his hug. I take my”6 months”book. Very enthusiasm, Edmund. I’m sure I can talk today. Guarantee? 5 lasagna for a day…Ha-ha…He random my hair softly. If naturally today, you must give me present.
Anything for you, my love….I want to continue my season. Edmund read my write, then he rustle. “Roxanne honey, do you want to be paralysed again?” he asking, looking my eyes. I shake one’s head. I’promise’ I will be more careful. I love MotoGP, Ed.
“I know, honey. Of course, you can, but 1 month later” he is smiling a little. I am groaning. “Roxanne, I’m willimg you mad to me all of your life, than I can’t keep you with allowed you continue season this year, my racer, I just want you to be safe” his strawberry lips kiss my forehead.
Oke. 1 month. I close my book, now this book almost full, full of my write and Ed’s because I still dumb. I look that book’s cover for a long time, there is my photograph and Edmund, a day when we made our love. I look his smiling face, I aware, I naturally really really lucky have Edmund.
I open that book again, my 6 months feel book, in front page, there is my photograph and Edmund, he kiss my forehead, we wear race clothes together. This photograph when I won in Catalunya, Spain. Ya, unique circuit.
“Come on, we are in” I close my book, I’m in again to his hug. “Roxanne! David! Or Edmund, whatever! How are you?” Dr. Darrow is smiling friendly. “Very well, doctor” Edmund reply, I nod countenance stable. “Ready?” I nod countenance again.
I have ready. Yes, I’m ready. I can spell 26 words in this world, and very fluent, and today I will learn gasp in a sentence. “Oke. I’m out first ya. There are some business” Edmund’s phrase suddenly, in hurry. Dr. Darrow nod countenance, represent my agreement, actually of course not.
Why Edmund must go in this my big day? I’m grumble. Ah, let him go, he certain will back later. Later. I just need to wait. “Oke. We start” Dr. Darrow break quite. I nod countenance, weak. “Oke. You great, honey. My patient naturally great. You can say 5 words, but must
be more fluent”
Dr. Darrow keep on praising me, his eyes shine, his half moon glasses down until nose. I can. I can. Edmund and everybody certain happy. But, this is more than 20 minutes, where is
Edmund? Why he not get come back? I throw away my think far away. Edmund certain will come back.
“Why David not yet come back? or Edmund, whatever! Where is him? or maybe we search him ya?” Dr. Darrow consider, asking himself, his eyes around his practice room. “Come on,
Roxanne. We search David, or Edmund whatever! You should be tired too.
We walk to park” Dr. Darrow is smiling. I nod countenance, my tongue naturally very tired now. That park is light, sun is smiling, still afternoon. Dr. Harry Darrow gossip along the road, about his holiday in Switzerland, 3 months ago with his wife and 4 children. I nod
countenance, entirely say”good” for show a little of my ability.
Dr. Darrow clap his hands every time when I can talk, even must be fluent again, very foolish. I start thinking about Edmund. Suddenly something pull my eyes’ looking. Motor cycle Honda RC212V….who have it?ask me in my heart. Oh-oh. My dream motor cycle. Motor cycle that I dream about to be my new motor cycle in season this year.
That motor cycle is black, with blood red race line, there is number 16 red, in front. Its
seat soft, read skin, there is my name with black colour. On it, there is a big helmet, black and red, there are stickers with write ‘Roxanne’, ‘Daniel’, ‘Edmund’, ‘Repsol Honda’, ‘Sweet Racer’, ‘I don’t know’, what is the last mean? Yes. This is my dream motor cycle.
“Do you like it, don’t you?” his voice 100% melodious, I aware from a moment ago Edmund hugged my waist. I nod countenance.“This will not be yours. You said ‘present’ if you can talk”. “Come on, Roxanne. You can do it. Say your first sentence since this 6 months! Anything!” Dr. Darrow enthusiasm.’
I look back and hold his face. He hug my waist more tight.’ I look his milk brown eyes. “I….I love you, Edmund Alexander David. I love you so much”. “My sweet racer, I love you so much. My love to you won’t hange 0,000….1% even when you change 1%. If you
change….”
“Be someone that I never hope before, I will always love you” I’m adding, while I laugh. He pull me to his hug. My tears drip. I cry in his chest. He hug me more tight.’ “Thanks for
everything”. “Thanks for this” Edmund caress my hair and kiss it. Warm. “I recovered”. “Yeah. You are the most important thing to me ever”. “Don’t leave me. Ever”. “Never”. “I want you”. “I’m yours. Forever”. I can calm now. (nadia r)
“Wait me at the finish line, don’t forget your promise!” “Do you want I dead now?” “Whatever. The important thing, first give me lasagna as your promise, and then you can dead as you like.” His melodious laugh break out.
I’m trying focusing my look to what in front of me, the Valencia circuit’s road street. That last turn is keen, right in front of me. My little scream yell break out. That last turn is smiling
cowardly, threatening, as if have abstracted my life later.
My think to wander every where, forget Edmund who has already waiting for me at finish line, forget his lasagna for me if I win later, forget my Repsol Honda’s crew, they are supervising me in Repsol Honda’s garage, forget everything. That turn is grining. I turn my right gas jack, speedometer is going to 235.
Motorcycle is going fast, I open my left foot to stand in turn. Fluent. Ugh..” Fluent. Thanks God, you don’t abstract my life now. I think about Edmund again, I see him wave to me at finish line. I am laughing. He is wearing orange cap today, orange shirt with all of Repsol Honda sponsor’s label.
He also wearing orange and white trousers, orange shoes, and small microphone in front of his mouth with amplifier at his ears. So foolish Edmund, in his uniform. I don’t aware my motorcycle cross diagonally black white checked line, finish line.
I win…I win. I repeat that 2 words in my heart. I don’t want for a long time without a pause on motorcycle, I bring my motorcycle to the side a several of meters from finish line, I
put off my helmet. I’m painting. Heated. “ Hey, me sweet racer, congratulation!” Edmund hug my waist, kissing my left cheek.
“Hey! Hey! Ok! All right! Wait! Hot!” I speak sharply and wavering. My crew are here now, want to give congratulation. “Oh my God! You heated!” his accuse, stop kissing my left cheek. Edmund take a bottle of water in his left hag and give it to me. I drink it hastily, some of water drop split to my race clothes.
“Hey, hey, slowly honey… don’t be in hurry.” His whisper, wiping off water in my chin with his 2 fingers, soft. “Hey congratulation!” his phrase again. Then he put off hook of cap at his belt and put it in my head. I’m platforming my wet hair. My crew are screaming.
“Roxanne, my dear sister! You lose me!” Coco Pedrosa is screaming, his hair also wet because sweat, his race clothes open, his black T-shirt spy. He hug me tightly. “Coco Pedrosa! Coco is so silly! I win!” I’m screaming on his ear enthusiasm.
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| foto : flickr |
"Let’s go around the lap?!” he is asking me, to be disdainful about my mockery. I catch my motorcycle, I feel Edmund fix my cap, it’s sloping. I look back and he is smiling. I turn my right gas jack, speedometer is going to 100. I’m starting go around the lap and the wind blow my hair, it’s hanging down loose until under my chest.
“Roxanne! Congratulation honey!” suddenly my dad is beside me, riding his favorite yellow motorcycle, kiss my cheek. “Dad! Don’t make me surprised like that!” I’m screaming. “Sorry…sorry… At least I want to give you congratulation!” his exclaim, still full of enthusiasm.
“Thanks dad!” I’m answering, forget my angry. “OK. Dad wait on the garage, with your mom and your sister.” I nod countenance. “Roxanne, my faked daughter! Congratulation! You were very great!” I look back, to that false voice, so Italian.
“Faked father! Papa Rossi! Thanks!” His blue white motorcycle go forward, Fiat Yamaha, replace my original dad, he has already riding his motorcycle back to garage. “OK.OK. we meet at podium.” I nod countenance again.
“We almost arrive in garage. I’m hungry” suddenly Coco Pedrosa speak. “Me too” I’m adding. I forget how long I have already going around the lap. I look back once more audience and back to road street in front of me.
Suddenly a red cap cross diagonally right in front of me and I (of course), braking. Motorcycle is lifting behind, I drudge in circuit’s road street, my knee first, stand all of my body. Drudge hard. I feel my right jaw-bone broken. That favorite motorcycle pressing me.
“Roxanne!!” I hear Coco Stoner is screaming at the edge of circuit, grasp the red cap, who brought me that bad luck. I don’t know I’m dreaming or not now. I see I’m riding my Repsol Honda’s motorcycle. Then I see I’m standing at podium and kissing my victory trophy.
Then I see me, my original family and my faked family, and Edmund have a lasagna party.
Then I see I hug Edmund. Then all of them lose. OK. That’s me, Roxanne Xaveria Paxton. I study in Headington School, school that just for girls.
I’m MotoGP racer, I started race when I was 12 years old, and in MotoGP since I was 14 years 4 month and now I’m almost 16 years old. Young enough to be a racer, very young. Since I started my life in a life with risks like MotoGP, I really really happy, also really really treattened end my life here.
I also have faked family, maybe too crude saying like that, adopted family, all of them
also racer, like I said, all of them are professional racer. I proud of them. And now, I’m happy enough. Very happy. I’m not a great racer, I just sit on fifth in World Champion, under my faked family.
But, at all I’m happy. I’m happy I can finish my season this year with victory. I don’t know from who this racer blood flow in my body, maybe from my original dad, because he was a great racer too.
And I’m very very lucky, I have a boyfriend that I can’t never imagine all of my life, I love him, more than anything in this world. Edmund. Edmund Alexander David. I’m very lucky, but not today.
I open my heavy eyelid slowly. “Roxanne?” You’ve already aware? Oh honey!” I move my mouth muscle, effort answering Edmund. I effort so hard. I open my mouth and start talking. But there is no voice coming out. “Roxanne. Roxanne. Calm down my sweet racer” his whisper, to calm down me.
“Promise, you won’t cry. You don’t do anything wrong. You have a very hard accident. Therefore you be like this.” He indistinctly sad. I open my mouth again, effort say “what?”. Again there is no voice coming out.
“Roxanne, your feet has very hard drudge, your knee stood all of your body…Your motorcycle also pressed you.” Edmund don’t continue his explanation.
“You… you paralysed and can’t talk. Your right jaw-bone broken so hard and you dumb” his whisper, his tone full of sadness, repentance.
“You’re alright” he is adding, bowing, looking my hand. I can’t believe. My head is looking up at my feet with gips, the right one hanging with iron wire at hospital curtain’s pole. I’m trying to coming out my voice. But there is no voice coming out.
What Edmund said 100% exactly. I’m paralysed and dumb. My tears drip. No! I mustn’t cry! I mustn’t sad. If I sad, Edmund will be sad too. I caress his hair softly. He look up. “Roxanne, you are all right, aren’t you? You still can walk and talk.”
I nod countenance. I lift my hand, I move about my hand, like want writing. Edmund take a book and a pen on a table next to my bed, erect my body in order I can write. I scratch my feeling. I’m fine. Where are they?
Everybody are in out, honey. Stoner feel so sorry because your accident. Tell him I’m fine. Can I recover? Of course you can. I brave buy you 100 lasagna for your recovery. My mouth
open, laugh, but still there is no laugh coming out. Edmund, I’m not sure You certain can recover. You certain can recover, believe me Not because of that.
So, what’s wrong my love? I’m not sure. I’m not sure you can still love me or not. Love me like now. I’m really scare. I don’t want to lose you. I just want you to be happy, Edmund, and that isn’t with sick person like me. Edmund read and then put the book and the pen on the table. He kiss my forehead, and caress my cheek softly. He’s smiling.
"Roxanne Xaveria Paxton, right here, right now, I say I love you. I love you so much. My love to you won’t change 0,000….1%, even when you change 1%. If change be someone that I never hope, I will always love you. Forever, until the throb of my heart stop. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever” his promise straightforward.
He put the book and the pen on my hand. Edmund, I’m paralysed! Paralysed! I can’t walk. All of my dream smashed. I’m not a MotoGP anymore, I’m not a racer anymore! I can’t talk! I’m not Roxanne! You still love me?! So silly! I don’t care you paralysed or can’t ride a motor cycle anymore, I don’t care, my love…. I will always love you. I will build your dreams again.
From begin. Don’t give up to life, my love… Thanks to God you still here. I will make you recover and make you become a racer again….Edmund! I can’t walk! I can’t talk! My tears drip. I can’t walk! I can’t talk! I repeat in my heart. I start revold in bed.
“Stop, oke? Don’t cry, my sweet racer, don’t cry” Edmund put away the book from my hand, wipe out my tears. Edmund effort smiling, but his point of view wet. I take his hand and kiss his fingers tip. I cry loudly. I grasp his hand, don’t want to let go. Better I die and Edmund happy! my heart is screaming.
“Roxanne, you will recover. I know this is too heavy. But, I will always love you. I will always beside you, we will past this together” his voice vibrate, he must be cry right now. I erect my body, and take the book and the pen hardly. Edmund! I paralysed and dumb!
My right hand vibrate. I can’t do anything for you now! I’m not useful! This is... too heavy. Very heavy for me. Yes,honey. I’m understand. You useful. I know that. I will die if you are not here. That’s a prove you useful. I… I want to be a racer! This is… this is too fast. I won just now, but… but…
Suddenly I like this. Paralysed. Dumb. You won’t be able suffer everything if with me. I love you so much. Done, oke. Sleep, sleep now, my love….Wait. I want to meet all of them. I give that book to him. Edmund read for a second, then he nod countenance. Edmund
open the door, bent, then in again.
“Honey. Roxanne. Forgive coco”. Edmund give that book to me again. Coco Stoner didn’t do anything wrong. I just wasn’t be careful. Hi, all! Thanks for visiting me here. “Roxanne, you….you….” coco Stoner stop his indistinctly. I be in hurry write again. I’m already known. I paralysed and dumb. I’m all right. I’m not sad. Dad, I’m so sorry.
“It’s fine, honey, Dad apologize too” my original Dad caress my hair softly. “Roxanne! You really really great, honey! Mom proud, you aren’t scare, you very responsible, able your risks as a racer. Mom know, this is also too heavy” my Mom’s voice so soft in my ears.
I am smiling. Are you sure you still want to love me? As your daughter, your sister, or your faked family? Now, I can’t do anything again, you should be shine, I’m not useful. I’m not a racer anymore. “Roxanne, my dear little sister, don’t think like that, ever. We will keep love you, until anytime, however you” coco Pedrosa go beside me, kiss my nose.
“Roxanne, papa will always love you” papa Rossi talk suddenly. “I have already asked to doctor, you will recover in 6 months, if you follow the theraphy active, little racer” coco Stoner look into my eyes, smiling, but I still can feel sadness from his looking. Help me hope.
“Why not? Oke, now sleep” his voice is very soft, for my ears. Coco Pedrosa look me softly, same with his voice just a minute ago, kiss my right cheek. I nod countenance. Group of people that I love separate, sit on chairs around the room.
Edmund sit beside my bed, caress my hand. I paralysed and dumb. But I’m not sad. For my love to them, I will recover. I let myself jump down into my dreams. Suddenly my tears drip. I paralysed and dumb. Roxanne, enough.
And 6 months later…“Dr. Harry Darrow” Edmund’s indistinctly, his hand grasp my hand. “Oh. All right. Please wait for a moment” that recepsionist smiling friendly to Edmund and then to me. I nod countenance. Oke. Exactly 6 months ago, I lied down in hospital, paralysed and dumb.
But did you know, naturally I was sad and revold first, but I’m happy. Behind this my not ability, Edmund and all the people that I love still love me like never happen anything to me before. A month ago, I can walk, free from peevish wheel chair. And I’ve followedmy right
jaw-bone operation, but I still can’t talk.
I straight try my motor cycle, and thanks God, I save. But, Edmund still didn’t allowed me
continue season this year. That 5 gloomy months still light, shine by my private sun, Edmund. I still come to the race, see my faked family started their season.
Very happy, coco Stoner very consistent this year. I’m also play in a fim, when I play as someone that paralysed and dumb. I’m very happy and lucky. And now, I’m in hospital waiting for Dr. Darrow, he will keep training me to talk. “My sweet racer, how do you feel, enthusiasm?”
Edmund asking suddenly, hug me, invite me into his hug. I take my”6 months”book. Very enthusiasm, Edmund. I’m sure I can talk today. Guarantee? 5 lasagna for a day…Ha-ha…He random my hair softly. If naturally today, you must give me present.
Anything for you, my love….I want to continue my season. Edmund read my write, then he rustle. “Roxanne honey, do you want to be paralysed again?” he asking, looking my eyes. I shake one’s head. I’promise’ I will be more careful. I love MotoGP, Ed.
“I know, honey. Of course, you can, but 1 month later” he is smiling a little. I am groaning. “Roxanne, I’m willimg you mad to me all of your life, than I can’t keep you with allowed you continue season this year, my racer, I just want you to be safe” his strawberry lips kiss my forehead.
Oke. 1 month. I close my book, now this book almost full, full of my write and Ed’s because I still dumb. I look that book’s cover for a long time, there is my photograph and Edmund, a day when we made our love. I look his smiling face, I aware, I naturally really really lucky have Edmund.
I open that book again, my 6 months feel book, in front page, there is my photograph and Edmund, he kiss my forehead, we wear race clothes together. This photograph when I won in Catalunya, Spain. Ya, unique circuit.
“Come on, we are in” I close my book, I’m in again to his hug. “Roxanne! David! Or Edmund, whatever! How are you?” Dr. Darrow is smiling friendly. “Very well, doctor” Edmund reply, I nod countenance stable. “Ready?” I nod countenance again.
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| foto : flickr |
I have ready. Yes, I’m ready. I can spell 26 words in this world, and very fluent, and today I will learn gasp in a sentence. “Oke. I’m out first ya. There are some business” Edmund’s phrase suddenly, in hurry. Dr. Darrow nod countenance, represent my agreement, actually of course not.
Why Edmund must go in this my big day? I’m grumble. Ah, let him go, he certain will back later. Later. I just need to wait. “Oke. We start” Dr. Darrow break quite. I nod countenance, weak. “Oke. You great, honey. My patient naturally great. You can say 5 words, but must
be more fluent”
Dr. Darrow keep on praising me, his eyes shine, his half moon glasses down until nose. I can. I can. Edmund and everybody certain happy. But, this is more than 20 minutes, where is
Edmund? Why he not get come back? I throw away my think far away. Edmund certain will come back.
“Why David not yet come back? or Edmund, whatever! Where is him? or maybe we search him ya?” Dr. Darrow consider, asking himself, his eyes around his practice room. “Come on,
Roxanne. We search David, or Edmund whatever! You should be tired too.
We walk to park” Dr. Darrow is smiling. I nod countenance, my tongue naturally very tired now. That park is light, sun is smiling, still afternoon. Dr. Harry Darrow gossip along the road, about his holiday in Switzerland, 3 months ago with his wife and 4 children. I nod
countenance, entirely say”good” for show a little of my ability.
Dr. Darrow clap his hands every time when I can talk, even must be fluent again, very foolish. I start thinking about Edmund. Suddenly something pull my eyes’ looking. Motor cycle Honda RC212V….who have it?ask me in my heart. Oh-oh. My dream motor cycle. Motor cycle that I dream about to be my new motor cycle in season this year.
That motor cycle is black, with blood red race line, there is number 16 red, in front. Its
seat soft, read skin, there is my name with black colour. On it, there is a big helmet, black and red, there are stickers with write ‘Roxanne’, ‘Daniel’, ‘Edmund’, ‘Repsol Honda’, ‘Sweet Racer’, ‘I don’t know’, what is the last mean? Yes. This is my dream motor cycle.
“Do you like it, don’t you?” his voice 100% melodious, I aware from a moment ago Edmund hugged my waist. I nod countenance.“This will not be yours. You said ‘present’ if you can talk”. “Come on, Roxanne. You can do it. Say your first sentence since this 6 months! Anything!” Dr. Darrow enthusiasm.’
I look back and hold his face. He hug my waist more tight.’ I look his milk brown eyes. “I….I love you, Edmund Alexander David. I love you so much”. “My sweet racer, I love you so much. My love to you won’t hange 0,000….1% even when you change 1%. If you
change….”
“Be someone that I never hope before, I will always love you” I’m adding, while I laugh. He pull me to his hug. My tears drip. I cry in his chest. He hug me more tight.’ “Thanks for
everything”. “Thanks for this” Edmund caress my hair and kiss it. Warm. “I recovered”. “Yeah. You are the most important thing to me ever”. “Don’t leave me. Ever”. “Never”. “I want you”. “I’m yours. Forever”. I can calm now. (nadia r)
